Sexuality

One thing I worry about with this blog is that it will seem discombulated, as if there is no one real theme or thread tying all the posts together. Having never blogged before, I'm not really sure if it's a bad thing if there's discontinutity from one post to the next. My first post focused on equal pay, this post I want to focus on sexuality. What's the theme? Just my passion for thinking about/discussing these issues.

This might come off as more of a venting post. This focuses on many discussions I've had with various friends about how sexuality is perceived in America. The problem? Sexuality is seen as being dichotomous: gay or straight, black or white, with no room in the middle for something else. I believe in sexuality (and gender!) as being a spectrum; less of an either/or type of deal, and more of a fluid concept. Some people are straight-they are only interested in members of the opposite sex, they know that, they embrace it, that's fabulous. Some people are gay, queer, homosexual-only romantically involved with members of the same sex. But what of the middle? Why isn't there more of a discussion of bisexuality in this country?

Is it that people fear bisexuality? That "crossing the line" so easily makes it possible for all people to love whomever? Or maybe it's that bisexuals don't fit the same sorts of stereotypes that gay people do...they move "under the radar," in a sense? However, even in the queer community bisexuals are a minority. Are bisexuals not "gay" enough?

I think much of the problem lies with the fact that being gay is not at all entirely accepted or understood in this country (and that's putting it mildly, in my humble opinion). Any sexuality outside of heterosexuality is seen as the "other." Thus, being gay is wrong, and being bisexual is downright inconceivable. Why not stay on the side of privledge? Why can't this person just chose a side?

I'm not entirely sure what the point of this sort of ranting is all about. I guess it's coming from my experience, as a girl who dated a boy and then finally came to terms with the fact that I'm primarily attracted to women. I've found that people need to know where I fall on the spectrum, and interestingly, whether or not I would date a man again. It comes from my bisexual friends coming to me and talking about how difficult it is to come out to their friends, or talk about their bisexuality with their families, because no one seems to understand their feelings and they're frustrated over the lack of recognition that their sexuality is legitimate. Am I making any sense? Thoughts?